Death of Congregant Inge Hyder

Inge Hyder, of Columbia, MD, died on April 10, at age 95.

Early in the morning of Sunday, April 6, Inge came home from a concert and experienced what doctors call a complete heart block. She was taken to Howard County General Hospital, where a temporary pacemaker was installed.

That pacemaker soon restored her regular heartbeat and by Sunday afternoon she was back to her normal lively and cheerful self.

Her daughter Alison drove down from Cape Cod on Sunday night and her son James and his wife Leslie flew in from Boston on Monday night.

After discussing the options with her doctors and James and Alison on Tuesday, Inge decided that she did not want to have a permanent pacemaker implanted.

This meant that once the temporary pacemaker was discontinued, the heart block would drop her pulse rate back to 30 or lower, and according to the doctors, death would follow, probably within a matter of hours or days.

Inge had been telling family and friends since turning 90 in 2020 that she was ready to die, and it was her fully informed and conscious decision to take this option, and die on her own terms, at a time of her choosing.

She shared this decision with family and a number of friends, and from Monday through mid-afternoon on Wednesday at least twenty people from her neighborhood, community, churches, and choirs came to say their goodbyes. She happily chatted with them, praised the hospital and its staff, and listened as they told her how much they loved, respected, and admired her. More than one jokingly said, “When I grow up, I want to be like Inge.”

Inge spoke by phone with her first cousin Margrit, and her sister Ursela, in Tucson, called several times each day. Ex-husband Bill, with whom Inge has always remained on good terms, visited each day. Many other friends called, e-mailed, and texted.

On Wednesday afternoon Leslie’s daughter visited, and later Inge and Bill reminisced with Alison, James, and Leslie about how the two had met in a college production of Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Mikado in 1948, and about the family’s early life together in Towson in the 1960s.

At 4:30 pm on Wednesday, with Alison, James, and Leslie present, the doctors deactivated the temporary pacemaker. As expected, her pulse dropped almost immediately below 30 bpm. Listening to The Mikado and classical music, she was kept comfortable with anti-nausea meds and morphine, and 25 hours later, at 5:30 pm on April 10, she died, quietly and peacefully. Alison and James were with her the entire time.

Our deepest thanks to everyone who visited and sent their good wishes during Inge’s final days, with special thanks to neighbors Peter and Debbie Legowski, who went above and beyond. The excellent medical team in the ICU of Howard County General could not have been more professional and compassionate, and has the deepest gratitude of Inge and her family.

All of you made Inge’s last few days a pleasure and delight for her and her family. We are sincerely grateful to you and, of course, to Inge for enriching our lives so profoundly.

More information about a memorial service will be announced once details are figured out. 

If you want to learn more about Inge, we did a podcast with her during the pandemic. You can listen here.