More than probably ever before, I’m striving very deliberately to pay attention to the present moment—noticing what’s here, now; not resisting the mixed emotions I’m experiencing in my body; appreciating reality as it is, rather than hurrying toward some future time.
I have just over seven weeks left as your minister, so I’m more frequently encountering questions about how the transition is going, what’s next for me, and so on.
There’s no simple response to those questions, no tidy resolution to all the mixed feelings. I know the timing of this departure is appropriate, that the decision to leave this year was a mature one, and that exciting things are in store for UUCC and for me. And sometimes I think, “Oh, gosh, why did I allow for such a long good-bye?” But that sentiment passes quickly, because I’m so grateful that we have had—and still have—this unhurried time together.
And still, in these emotionally intense times, I must make a conscious effort to remain grounded, centered, present. One of my tools for being more fully present in the moment is to notice and name things I’m especially appreciating right now (or, as Nadia Bolz-Weber describes it, “Stuff I’m Into”). For example:
- Recent gifts from the no-longer-little-kids I’ve been raising—like these cookies, baked in our kitchen: intensely chocolate sables; and this candle: “If it’s lit. Don’t ask Mom for s***.”
- Live music in an intimate venue on a weeknight—specifically, that of Jean Rohe (especially the song Animal!) and Vienna Teng (especially Level Up!).
- A new local bookstore—Queen Takes Book!
- The book The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker, which I listened to as an audiobook borrowed from our local public library (another thing on the appreciations list!).
And perhaps most of all, I’m appreciating the countless moments of connection with each of you—words of comfort as our vulnerable human lives proceed uninterrupted by looming transitions; leisurely visits as we wander together through shared memories; tears of tenderness and anticipatory grief; celebrations of milestones (young adults earning diplomas! illnesses overcome! a long OWL year complete! babies born!); lighthearted updates about surgical recovery; thoughtful wrestling with questions of faith and values and identity.
Nothing lasts forever, I know. And our time of shared ministry will soon end. In the meantime, I’ll continue to show up and be present to what we have, while we have it.
I love you, UUCC.
Love,
Paige
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