Today

Today I am embracing the chaotic, the relational, the non-linear. Tomorrow perhaps I’ll return to the world of neatly organized spreadsheets, to-do lists, and carefully tailored projects.  

Today I will listen to music I don’t understand in rhythms that I can’t quite get. Maybe Laurie Anderson, Miles Davis, or Neutral Milk Hotel.   

Today I will NOT try to solve myself or others. I will laugh at the absurdity of being me, smile at the joy of my partner, and shed tears with struggling friends.  

Today all of the little ones in my life will be my teachers. Today Shel Silverstein and Theodor Geisel and Maurice Sendak will be my guides. Today I will answer the banana telephone, drink magical tea, and disappear behind peak-a-boo hands.

Today I’ll be confused and sad and joyous and contemplative and maybe creative and maybe not. Today I will live in comfort and discomfort with myself and accept that it’s ok to be in both states, perhaps even at the same time.  

Today I’ll stop trying to understand why he’s so mad and why she’s so supportive of his conspiracy theories. Today I’ll love them as a part of my extended family and lean into my life with my commitments to a better word without concern of their reactions.  

Today I will remember to be wary of marketing, especially my own, and that my story is not as coherent, neat, or as straightforward as I would like it.  

Today I might barrel-roll with the dog down the hill. Or maybe not. But today I won’t try and train or “correct” her. Today I will embrace my own inner “dog-ness” without pre-understanding what that means and where it leads.   

Today when I meet the different, the don’t-quite-fit I’ll say ”yes!” and applaud and rejoice and put them and those in the center.   

Maybe tomorrow I’ll adult. Today I will live.