Frank Hazzard, whose contribution appears below, is a longtime member of UUCC, and currently serves as its First Vice President. Laurie Coltri is one of the Managing Editors of Voices of UUCC, and has been a member of the congregation since 2003.
Introduction: Voices of UUCC Foodies
By Laurie Coltri
Many of us who were around UUCC in the early years of the 21st Century fondly remember our interim minister Richard Nugent.
Richard is a larger-than-life figure, known in our congregation for his comedic, improvisational turns in the pulpit and his flashy “altar calls.” Back in 2003, my husband and I met with him to discuss whether we should become members, and I particularly remember this characterization of UUCC; proclaimed, perhaps, to secure us in the flock:
This congregation really knows how to party.
It worked: we’ve been members nearly 14 years. His words turned out to be very accurate: this congregation really does love to party, and there’s usually a lot of really good partying going on. UUCC has been bad for my waistline, but it’s sure great for my spirit. Behind all the reveling there is a beloved community that breaks bread together and has fun together.
In recognition of this truth about our beloved community, today we’re launching a series of occasional blogposts called Voices of UUCC Foodies. We’ll present favorite recipes of UUCC members along with a little background on why the recipe is something that the cook wants to share.
We present, below, the inaugural post.
Two Recipes for College Students and Other Gastronomically Desperate Persons
By Frank Hazzard
Although I am seldom mistaken for a cook, I am a girthy guy who will, out of desperation, gravitate to the kitchen (or elsewhere!) and go solo to secure basic sustenance. I have actually tried these recipes and therefore I can’t recommend them to most, but I do recommend them to other girthy guys in moments of gastronomic desperation.
Dorm Grilled Cheese
- Obtain a sheet of aluminum foil large enough to enclose a sandwich (from dining hall)
- Obtain two slices of bread and two slices of cheese (from dining hall)
- Obtain an electric iron and ironing board (optional) from a girl
- Set up ironing board (substitute with your roommate’s bed)
- Turn on the iron and set to high
- Butter two pieces of bread
- Place foil on ironing board, place one slice of bread on foil, buttered side down, place cheese on bread, place second slice of bread on top of cheese, with the buttered side up.
- Close foil around sandwich-to-be.
- Place iron on foil pack and heat for 3-7 minutes (everyone knows that this means heat it for 5 minutes)
- Turn over foil pack and place iron on side B for 5 minutes.
- Recycle foil.
- Obtain a coffee mug
- Obtain a sandwich baggie
- Obtain a raw egg
- Line coffee mug with baggie
- Crack open raw egg and dump it into the lined mug
- Gently prick yolk and stir egg to blend the white and yolk (use your finger, but don’t let anyone see you do it). Be very careful not to puncture baggie.
- Microwave on high for 30 seconds
- Stir with a spoon to break up half-cooked egg parts, thereby preventing an explosion that may require cleaning the microwave
- Nuke again for 30 seconds
- Eat egg
- Throw away baggie
- Put mug back in cupboard